Trzy  Blondynki:Elves seen  by  glow of vampire
by Menoma-Minx
Summary: This is the unofficial sequel to,"Two Blondes",Which was the opening story for Charlene Harris's"Death takes a vacation".Eric joins Sookie and Pam as our third blonde.This is the ABRIDGED EDIT.fang readers1shot Theme:Santa Claus and/or Christmas elves
1. Chapter 1

**Trzy** Blondynki:Elves seen by glow of vampire

"Relax ,lover ;it'll be fine ."

"Eric, the last time you offered me a vacation :Pam was poisoned by elf's blood ,somebody got shot ,and I ended up on a stripper is that for fine!

"You're welcome to get shot onto my pole anytime you like"Eric's eyebrows waggling eyebrows might have been humorously seductive had anyone else cared to notice,which is rather hard with just the two of them in the room.

"It's not fine!

Is that what you told Pam?"

"No."

Suddenly suspicious on a whole new level ,Sookie's voice lowered menacingly,"What did you tell Pam ?"

"That there are no elves in Poland."

"How do you know that?How could you know that?I've Gotta tell you ,if you all have some kind of elf radar going on,it's snake oil "

Eric's dead eyes looked dead at her, "As interested as I'm sure you're not:snakeskin is not oily-it's dry ,there's no such thing as an elf radar detector ,and it was the only way to get my child onto the plane or even the out of the house with a bunch of flaky humans playing dress up with pointy else do you think I approved the extra luggage charge from Anubis Airlines ? Pam would have to be loaded up first for security purposes before her meaningless extra luggage went on or else she would have time to catch the time she does, the plane will have her coffin locked down tight. She'll have to go . "

"So then you lied."

"I don't know that I lied for certain.I haven't been to Poland in years."

"This is not how I want to spend Christmas !"

"Strangely, not having ever been Christian ,I don't particularly care what the calendar says.I just want an excuse to take my hot wife on the snow will even cool you off a bit."then he smiled and added ,"I've always loved snow,but I love you more mostly naked in be worth getting drenched over if you melted it ."followed by the eyebrows again.

Sookie stalked her way out to the car;too angry to be turning on him right now and way too turned on not to be angry about it .

Supposedly,to the IRS ,this was supposed to be a small business convention for bar owners ,which made the whole thing affordable after the debts created by Victor Madden's ego trip nearly drained Fangtasia's accounting books dry.

Supposedly,to his wife Sookie ,this was an excuse for a romantic vacation -with his child Pam doing all the actual convention type things.

Supposedly ,Pam would probably be grateful for what he was plotting for her someday ,for none of the above was true.

That gratitude may take a couple of hundred years to settle in however ,as he was quite certain there were elves in Poland.

A few weeks before, he finally found a black market supplier of elves 'd only deal directly with him and only in exchange for vampire was quick enough to make a deal , as it was the perfect present for his progeny .You see, he'd discovered the black market dealers were actually elves themselves who liked getting high on remotely supernatural that ingested even trace amounts of vampire blood would glow just like a sent the blood in advance and by now every elfin V addict in Poland was glowing like those Christmas lights his wife was so fond of .His child would be fonder still of the small arsenal he was placing at her disposal when they landed. He really did have a gift for gift giving in his own was just a matter of time until they appreciated it .


	2. Chapter 2

The answers to the questions I've been getting: part one

1.

Q: Why is the title in Polish.

A: When the book that contained the original " two blondes" this was a sequel to was released by independent e-sellers, several of them offered the story for free online to promote the collection of stories in the book. I bought the book, then lost it. Later on I needed it as a reference point to another story I was writing. The only people still offering the story for free only offered it in Polish.

I'm a polymath (read that as multilingual in at least five languages, although I'm really only competent in reading adult literature with dictionaries in hand for a few of them).

Anyway, none of my languages are Polish; so I thought trying to translate the Polish translation would make an interesting challenge. In case you're wondering, many months later, I still haven't managed it-except for the title:Dwie Blondynki= two blondes.

Ironically, my mother's family is mostly Polish-which to me makes it even funnier... Or it would be, was this not the(abridged edit) of the story. The web site has been randomly removing chunks of my stories lately, and it's driving me slightly insane. The Polish title is also a tip of the hat to the plot points that did not make the abridged edit-which was further abridged by the web site. I'm truly amazed that anyone has the patience to read it with all the random deletions of words. Grateful, but still amazed :-)

2.  
>Q: Why wasn't the full version of the story published?<p>

A: At the risk of stating the obvious, the random deletions of words is driving me crazy: so this was a test to see if the website would do it again. I saw no point in dictating the full story if it was just going to be butchered upon upload. The last victim was the HVH multi lingual humor piece entitled, "HVH Menggerumut necrophilia Newlin AKA afwan", which although written while having a slight concussion, this web site's version makes it look like I had major brain damage going on ;-)

There are originally two versions non abridged of the story: the (Hitchcock edit) and the (darker side of bon temps edit)-both stem from requests, but only one of them is appearing under my name on this site(I'm convinced the latter version may violate some of the content rules here, so though I'm dictating that version of the story, the requesters can/will upload it under their own group's name here. Elsewhere, some of the sites will have it under mine eventually.

Also, my assistive technology has been going haywire for quite a time now. My voice recognition software that I currently use to type has become so unstable/unusable, I'm replacing it in place of buying myself a Christmas present-not taking many hours of corrections to miss Recognized words and phrases every few seconds is going to be incredibly freeing :-)

I'll be dictating the backlog of stories I owe when it arrives in a couple of weeks. Since I write by straight dictation, with the story only in my head as completed until that straight through dictation, this should be incredibly fast :-)

3.  
>Q:Who or what are the "fang readers" you keep putting in your story summaries?<p>

A:The fang readers is a fan fiction writing/reading group that focuses primarily on the Sookie Stackhouse southern vampire mysteries/true 've got around 30 nations worth of members, weekly story challenges, and various other activities involving the fandom-including multiple message boards sites, blogs, and chat rooms.

My most frequent requests for fanfiction come from these people, and as I only write by request for the most part nowadays, that is why they are often mentioned in the summary.

They also regularly issue awards throughout the year , and are currently holding their largest:The Fangies

Even if you're not a member of Fang readers,your stories are still eligible for these awards:

Here are the categories of the

Fangreaders Awards:

(There will also be some special awards announced on the night of the awards ceremony on 25th February 2012 )

The Baby Jessica Award~ Best Fanfic for a New Author This award is for a fanfic from a first time author who has posted their first story after January 2011

The Longshadow Award~ Best One-Shot Fanfic

The Newlin Award~ Best All Human Fanfic

Mr Cataliades Award~ Best Series Fanfic

The Ancient Pythoness Award~ Best Fanfic Published before 2010

The Lafayette Reynolds Award~ Best Alternate Universe Fanfic ( For the purpose for this award Alternate Universe A/U means any fic that takes the characters out of the "canonical" world of SVM or True Blood )

The Jason Stackhouse Award~ Best Comedy Fanfic

The Bill Compton Award~ Best Angst Fanfic

The Eric Northman Award~ Best Epic Fic Fic must be at least 25 Chapters AND 200,000 words

The Sookie Stackhouse Award~ Best Romantic Fic

The Adele Stackhouse Award for Reader's Choice~ Your choice for any fanfic that deserves recognition for excellence regardless of genre.

If you ask to join Fangreaders now, you too can have a nomination ballot sent to you so you can nominate your favourite fanfics.

Otherwise, you will have to vote on public ballot with the preselected fan fictions in each category to vote on... Or you just tell a FANGREADER about a story that deserves to win, but it's much easier to join in on the fun, become a FANGREADER, and make the nominations yourself.

Don't you have a favorite story you want to promote? Maybe even your own;-)

ANY MORE QUESTIONS?  
>Please post them to the reviews and I'll answer them with another Q and A :-) <p>


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